Murphy's Law
by Mephistophelian
Summary: If anyhting can go wrong, it will. Random little stories involving our favorite doctor, Faust VIII. Lets watch as Faust fails to live up to his degrees, all the while looking adorably kawaii. R
1. Stettners Law for Surgeons

Stettners Law For Surgeons  
  
Never say "oops" while your patient is conscious."  
  
Takes place before Yoh and Faust's fight. Ya know, when Faust was dissecting Manta  
  
" ..The chest cavity seems normal enough...." Faust muttered as he examined Manta's innards (eww!).

" YOH! YOH!! " Manta screamed as he tried to wiggle free from Faust's grasp.

" MANTA!!! I'M COMING MANTA!!!" Yoh yelled as he tried to fight off Faust's skeletons.

" Stop wiggling young-oops." Faust's said as his eyes got wide and he blushed slightly, "Uhh. Eliza, do we, um. Have any morphine with us?" (Lets just pretend that she could talk at this point in time.)

" Yes, of course." Eliza answered, though in her mind she was thinking ' Well naturally we have morphine dear. You always carry it with you because God forbid it should work its way out of your system and cause you to need two bottles of it on the spot.' " Why?"

"DID YOU SAY OOPS!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! FAUST IS GONNA KILL ME!!!!!!!!" Manta screamed in terror.

" Shhhh. Now Manta, your not gonna die." Faust then looked at Eliza, "I sorta, accidentally cut his liver out..."

" WHAT!!" Eliza's eyes bulged out.

" MANTA!!! I'M COMMNG!!! EVENTUALLY!!!!" Yoh yelled as he punched a skeleton.

" sigh Here's the morphine, antiseptic, and a mallet." Eliza said as she handed Faust the items.

" Thank you dearest." Faust smiled as he took the objects.

" Wh-whats that mallet for?" Manta asked worriedly.

" Mallet? What mallet? I don't see a mallet." Faust lied poorly as a halo appeared on his head.

" Don't worry sweetie, he knows what he's doing." Eliza smiled, " At least, I think.." She said as an after thought.

" Uhh.. Manta, I'll save you after I finish this game." Yoh said as he played Tic Tak Toe with one of the skeletons ( We'll call him Tim.).

" Okay Manta, hold still." Faust said as he and Eliza put the antiseptic and morphine in Mantas veins (With needles, of course). " Alright Manta, how do you feel?" Faust asked with a smile.

" Eliza, how does it feel to be dead?" Manta asked.

" Why?" Eliza replied.

" I don't trust Faust." Manta answered flatly.

" Hey!" Faust looked hurt.

" Oh, don't worry dear. That's why I'm here, to keep Faust from accidentally killing you with his pathetic medical skills." Eliza smiled.

" HEY! Who's wife are you! And didn't I cure you of that incurable disease!" Faust yelled defensively. "

" I know sweetheart, and I'm very grateful." Eliza patted Faust's head.

" Are you mocking me?" Faust asked flatly.

" Of course not!" Eliza giggled.

" You lie!' Faust then began to cry pathetically.

" OH! Lch liebe Faust!" Eliza then hugged Faust.

" Uhh. not to interrupt this loving moment, but I'm going to pass out now." Manta then passed out.

" Hey Manta." Yoh smiled in his face.

" Yoh?" Manta stood up, "Wh-where....Hey Where's my liver?"

" Faust?" Eliza asked in a scolding tone.

" Hee hee." Faust looked behind Manta, " Frankie! Bad dog! Drop Manta's liver!" Faust ordered. Frankenstein dropped the liver and began whimpering. " Hey you go manta, your liver."

" Next time you say oops I'm kicking you in the shin." Manta said flatly.

"Does that mean you'll let me run more experiments on you?" Faust asked hopefully. "No." Was the reply.  
  
OSWAR  
  
Disclaimer

I don't own the Murphy's Law fro doctors book (Which is where the quotes at the beginning of the chapters come from) nor do I own Faust, Eliza, Yoh, and Manta, they are the property of Viz comics and the book is the property of Arthur Bloch. I claim no rights to them and am making no money from this. It has been written purely for entertainment purposes. Danke Schon.  
  
Glossary

Lch Liebe Faust = I love Faust

Danke Schon = Thank you

Oswar = end  
  
The top two words are German and the bottom is Japanese


	2. Telsco's Second Law for Nursing

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Murphy's Law

To begin, i must apologize for my earlier mistake. I love Faust is spelt Lch Liebe Faust. Sorry, I was a bit distracted while I was typing it. Forgive me? Thanks. Well, anyway, here's chapter 2, and again, lets pretend that Eliza can speak and that Faust is a horrid doctor. Lets also remember that I don't own these characters and that they are the property of Viz, the almighty company that makes Shonen Jump. Arigato watashi no dorei!

****

Chapter 2

Telesco's Second law of Nursing.

" There are two kinds of adhesive tape: That which won't stay on and that which wont come off."

" Umm..... Dearest, could you, um, help me over here?" Faust asked as he tried to get a piece of adhesive tape off his chest.

" Of course Johaan." Eliza smiled as she put the clipboard in her hands down and walked over to Faust. " Now hold still. Adhesive tape can be a little tricky. If you don't know how to take it off properly then you'll spend hours trying to take it off only to have it stay completely still." Eliza said as she tried to rip it off. After a few moments of frustrating attempts, she began to tug on it. ' Its............ all................. in.............. the technique.........." Eliza said through gritted teeth.

" Uh.. Eliza, I don't think this is working. I think I'll just---" Faust began to stay, but was interrupted when Eliza pulled out a LIGHTER.

" Don't worry Faust! I'll get that tape off you!" Eliza yelled manically as she held the lighter.

" Eh..... That's........ okay, dearest............... I'll take it off myself........" Faust said as he slowly backed away from Eliza.

" You asked for my help! I'm gonna give it!" Eliza yelled as she chased Faust around with the lighter.

" But Eliza! I don't wanna be burned!" Faust cried as he an.

" C'mon! Be a man! Suck it up!' Eliza yelled.

" When did you become so insensitive!?" Faust cried.

" Being dead for so long will do that to someone!" Eliza yelled as she caught up with Faust and pinned him down with her undead strength.

" AUH!!!!!! ELIZA!!! IT BURNS!!!" Faust cried as he flailed his arms.

" Shoot. it didn't work. Well, maybe it melted the glue." Eliza mused as she tugged at the tape. Sure enough, it came off. But with the force Eliza used to take it off, her arms slapped back and the tape attached itself to her head.

" HA! The tables have turned!" Faust yelled triumphantly as he laughed at the woman who sat on his abdomen.

" Shut up you insensitive jerk!' Eliza yelled as she fumbled with the tape.

" Heehee. Here, let me help." Faust said as he sat up and tugged on the tape, it came off quickly enough. " Uh...... oh......." Faust blushed.

" What!? What did you do!?" Eliza yelled frantically.

" Ehehe. Your not, uh, very attached to your hair are you?" Faust asked nervously.

" Yes. I am." Eliza said as she looked at Faust with suspicion.

" Oh................... Can i have one last kiss before I die?" Faust asked.

" Why would you die?" Eliza asked as she looked at her husband with distrust.

" Heehee." Faust then held up the piece of adhesive tape which had a huge lock of Eliza's blonde hair.

" FAUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oswar.

Japanese glossary

Arigato watashi no dorei Thank you my slave


	3. The Clinic Principle

Heeheehee. People reviewed my story, I feel loved to the point of possibly hugging someone, but I won't I'd like to take this time to thank Magus Black and Queenstheif Draconess herselve. I would also like to take this time to get on my knees and beg Falcon Strife to update Living in Deaths Shadow. For the love of God! Update it or I'll go insane!!

On a lighter note () I hope you enjoy this chapter and make your therapist hate me because I am aiding to strengthen your Faust obsession. Enjoy, and make sure you share the story with the corpse in your coat.

The Clinic Principle 

"The longer you spend in the waiting room, the greater the likelihood that you will be sent to another room to begin waiting again."

"Yoh, you better hurry up and be back here at 5:00." Anna threatened.

"Yes Anna." Yoh smiled, "bye." Yoh then headed down to the clinic for his weekly check-up.

"Hey Yoh, where are you going?" Manta asked as he joined Yoh.

"Clinic! I'm getting my check-up." Yoh smiled.

"Didn't you go in last week?" Manta asked curiously.

"Yeah, well, Faust said I should go in more often since I have to go through Anna's training." Yoh shrugged.

"Oh......... Yeah......" Manta shivered, "Wait. Faust is your doctor?"

"yeah! He offered to be my doctor for free after he lost your liver. He called last night and reminded me to come in, he also mumbled something about tape, fire, and hair." Yoh said in a musing voice, "I wonder what he could have meant by that..."

"Who knows. This is Faust after all." Manta offered.

"Hmmm." Yoh shrugged.

"Well, see ya Yoh. I 've gotta go pick something up for my dad." Manta waved as he ran off.

"Yeah, see ya." Yoh then walked in silence till he got to the clinic.

"Hello, I've got an appointment. My name is Yoh Asakura." Yoh said.

"Ah! Yes, have a seat and the doctor will be right with you." The lady behind the desk instructed. Yoh sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And guess what, he waited some more!

"Yoh Asakura! The doctor will see you now!" A nurse called out to a very bored Yoh.

"Huh? Oh, right." Yoh got up and followed the nurse.

"Wait in here and the doctor will be with you in a few minutes." The nurse then left Yoh in a room.

"Okay....." Yoh then sat in a room and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited And waited.. And waited. And waited.

"Hi Yoh!" Faust's cheery voice boomed.

"AUHHH!!! I'M SORRY ANNA!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SLEEP IN!!!!! I SWEAR!!!!" Yoh yelled as he sprung awake.

"Hmm...?" Faust hen chuckled, "Kawaii."

"Wha? Hu? Oh, hey Faust. Did you have a lot of patients?" Yoh asked in a tiered voice.

"Patients? No." Faust answered.

"You didn't have any patients?" Yoh asked.

"No."

"Then what took you so long?"

"Well, you see. Eliza and I were having a duck race. But the ducks didn't want to swim, so they started tearing things up like medical charts, books, Frankie, and other things. After that they were really tired so they went to sleep, so Eliza and I decided to play poker. And we were playing poker for a ling time and Eliza got rich and I, well, I've been reduced to five pennies. But anyway, our ducks woke up after we finished our poker game so we put them in the tub, but they still didn't wanna swim. Eliza bribed her's with money, I didn't have any money left so I blackmailed mine. So out ducks finally started to swim and BOOM! Horokeu's duck won." Faust used large gestures to get the point across.

"Wait, Horo horo was there?" Yoh asked, confused.

"Oh yeah, Horokeu's our janitor and we called him to clean up the mess that the ducks made, and he had his duck with him so we put it in the tub. And I'm not positive, but I think Horokeu's duck was drunk." Faust said this matter of factly.

"So. Let me get this strait. You and Eliza had a duck race, and Horo horo showed up and his duck beat your ducks." Yoh asked.

"Yeah." Faust answered.

"Okay, as long as I'm not late getting home." Yoh said, By the way, what time is it?"

"9:55." Faust answered, Yoh went pale.

"Wha-waht? How long did your duck race take?" Yoh asked in a quiet, fearful voice.

"Oh, we were done at 4:30 but you looked so kawaii sleeping there that I couldn't bear to wake you. So Eliza just sat here and stared at you wishing we could have children. I'm sorry, I wouldn't have woken you, but the clinic is closing."

"............................ I'm gonna die..........................." Yoh whispered, Faust didn't hear him though.

"You better get home, Anna called for you earlier." Faust said. Yoh nodded his head mutely and trudged his way home, terror evident in his eyes.

"A-Anna...?" Yoh whispered fearfully as he entered their dark home. The door closed behind him and the out line of Anna could be seen.

"Oh Yoh, I thought I said be home at 5:00." Anna's voice whispered sadistically.

"A-Anna..... I can explain...." Yoh tried.

"I have a torch, katana, and bat in my hand. I would run if I were you Yoh." Anna's voice whispered threateningly. Yoh gulped.

OSWAR

Japanese glossary

Kawaii cute


End file.
